Funerals: rules, mistakes and readings

When a person's life draws to its end and they depart this world, a special canon is read over them: the "Canon of Supplication to our Lord Jesus Christ and to the Most Pure Lady Mary, Mother of God, at the parting of the soul from the body of every Orthodox believer" — commonly called the prayer for the departing.

During the death agony, kin are best sent out of the room, unless they themselves wish to stay beside their loved one to the very last breath. Children should unquestionably be sent away. The clothes in which a person died must be given to no one, kin or stranger — they are burned on waste ground. But if the family oppose this, the clothes should be washed and set aside. They may be given away or worn only once 40 days have passed since the death.

The departed are washed within the hour after death, before the body has fully grown cold. You may keep the soap for healing and for ridding yourself of troubles of every kind.

They are usually dressed in new clothes, chosen to fit — neither too large nor too small. Or in clean clothes, if there are no new ones.

Never dress them in clothing stained with sweat and blood. It may draw another death after it. If the person asked in life to be dressed in something of their choosing, their wish must be honoured.

There must without fail be a white cover with which the departed are covered.

Upon the brow is laid a paper crown bearing the images of Jesus Christ, the Mother of God, and John the Forerunner. On the crown — words in the old lettering: the text of the Thrice-Holy hymn.

If no priest can be invited, take care to invite one of the elderly to read the psalms and serve the memorial service (panakhyda — an Orthodox requiem). The psalms are usually read without pause, breaking off only for the memorial service.

Custom requires that after three days the departed be borne to church for the funeral service. But this has long ceased to be observed: no longer three days — the dead now spend but one night at home.

From the day of death, a glass of water with a piece of bread stands beside the photograph of the departed, while millet is poured into a small bowl or glass, a candle set in it, lit, and replaced as it burns down.

You must be most vigilant during a funeral. For it is no secret that many curses are cast at funerals, or mistakes made that lead to illness, trouble, and death.

Blood kin must not wash the floor of the house where the departed lay.

Kin must not walk ahead of the coffin, carry wreaths, or drink wine.

At the cemetery, farewell is taken with a last kiss upon the crown on the brow, or upon the hands.

Living flowers are removed from the coffin, and the icon. See to it that the icon is not buried.

As for jewellery and medals: if you do not begrudge them, there is no harm in their being left upon the departed. But if you have dressed the departed in jewellery — a watch above all — then never take it off afterwards! If a watch is taken from a dead wrist, its hands turned back, and a spell read over some living person, that person will not have long to wait for death.

After the farewell, the face is covered. The lid is nailed down, and the coffin is usually lowered on rushnyky — long embroidered cloths. The cloths are given away to the people.

Small coins are thrown into the grave — a ransom against coffins to come. Once the coffin has been lowered into the pit, in our parts small change is thrown practically everywhere — a fistful, uncounted, to ransom the coffin. Mark this: small coins, and never banknotes! Yet some oppose the practice, arguing the dead need no money and that you may bury your own prosperity with it. I believe they simply do not grasp the true meaning of this ancient rite. The change is thrown not for the departed, to buy a place or a coffin — for in the world beyond there is indeed no currency. It is for us, the living, and the kin above all: by this act the family ransoms itself from further coffins and misfortunes in their house! And that is truly most important. Then earth is thrown in. After the kin, earth is thrown by all present at the funeral.

Then, on returning from the cemetery, the memorial repast (pomynky — a funeral feast) is held.

Death and all that attends it have been used since ancient times to cast the most powerful curses. Such workings rest on forging an energy bond between the victim (a living person) and the dead — which gravely damages the living person's energy field, bringing illness in its wake, and sometimes death. Many ignorant people make a host of mistakes during this rite, and those mistakes can prove fatal in an ordinary person's life. And many witches and sorcerers never miss a chance to attend a funeral for their own dark magical ends. So you must be most vigilant and permit no mistakes.

Lest illness be cast upon you at a funeral, cross yourself three times at home before going, and say: "I shall go into the open field, to the right-hand side; there I shall find the dead grass. I shall bend my knees and pray to the Lord God. Lord, my God, I stand before Thee; cover me with Thy veil, clothe me in shield and armour; let no enemy, O God, slay me, Thy servant (name), or destroy me with a cruel curse. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen."

The departed must never be left alone in the house; women are set to sit beside them. If someone falls asleep sitting by the coffin, there may be three more deaths in their family. Should this happen, the mistake must be atoned with this incantation:

"Giver of Life, Heavenly King, I raise my cry and my prayer to Thee. Most merciful God, have mercy upon us; destroy us not with a vain and terrible death, and deliver us, unworthy, from all punishments. Our Saviour, in Thee we hope and trust, for frail is the flesh and the work of the human creature. O God, wipe away every calamity with Thy right hand. My Lord, O Lord, my joy — have mercy upon us. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

In the house, all mirrors are covered for 40 days, and where the departed lay, an axe is placed, so that no more deaths visit the house.

Only new candlesticks should be used for the candles, and discarded after use. Candles are often set in a glass half-filled with wheat groats.

When going to the cemetery, forget nothing: hammer, nails, cord, kutia (a sweet wheat memorial dish), the first memorial foods.

Never dress the departed in bright red; see to it also that there are no knots or rings upon them, and that buttons are undone. Do not forget to unbind the departed, or another will soon die! If by chance the departed were left bound, their kin must lay a pair of scissors in someone's coffin as soon as possible.

Whoever bakes pancakes for the memorial feast must not eat the first pancake themselves.

The departed's kin must not step out at once when the coffin is carried from the house. Someone must stay behind and say: "Not we, and not following; not in bed, not at table; not in a month, not in a year — but when the Lord shall call. Amen."

Kin must not carry the departed or the wreaths. At a funeral, close family must be especially careful and watchful, for curses are spread at such times. Earth is often thrown inside someone's collar, or a child may be asked to jump over the dug grave. Afterwards the victim suffers convulsions, their blood pressure surges, and they may die. Beware above all of strangers in inside-out clothing.

On cemetery ground, never take anything from the hands of anyone suspicious. People often heal themselves at your expense, even shedding a dead spirit through you. If it happens, draw crosses with a funeral-service candle (from a woman's service if a woman's spirit haunts you, and vice versa) on every window and door of your house or flat, reading this incantation; begin clockwise from the nearest window, then the doors, finishing with the front door:

"Remember, O Lord, the children of Edom in the day of Jerusalem. Remember, O Lord, unto the repose of the unreposed — the wandering, restless spirits. Bind them with chains and crosses and summon them to fulfil Thy Covenant: from earth they came, to earth they have gone. Calm, O Lord, those who lie in the earth yet walk the earth in spirit — now, for ages, for all bright times. Amen."

If a coal falls from the censer during the funeral service, say: "May this coal never reach our threshold."

The departed's belongings must not be thrown in the rubbish; within 9 days, everything must be washed, ironed, made ready, and given to the needy, once 40 days have passed since the death.

If a widow or widower remains, the wedding ring must without fail be taken from the deceased, lest the one left behind fall ill and be lonely!

A bunch of dried sage may be laid in the coffin with the departed. In a house where the departed lie, no bread is baked, no laundry washed, no sweeping or floor-washing done.

Seeing the departed in the coffin, never touch your own body by reflex!

Meeting an acquaintance at a funeral, greet them with a nod of the head — never with a handshake or a touch.

If kin who have not seen one another for years embrace upon meeting at a funeral, they may easily pass on illness or a dead spirit.

After the departed have been carried from the house, the kin must not step out right behind the coffin. Someone must close the door after it and say: "Not we, and not following; not in bed, not at table; not in a month, not in a year — but when the Lord shall call. Amen."

By custom, the table on which the coffin stood was often turned over, and the floors scrupulously washed after it. A stranger was hired or entreated for the task. It was believed the departed soul could not return afterwards.

If the departed were dropped, there will unfailingly be another death within three years. The calamity is warded off thus: bake pancakes, carry them to the cemetery, approach three graves bearing your own name, read the "Our Father", then the "atonement". Give these pancakes away the same day, with money for alms, by the church. On the way there and back while performing this rite, keep silence. The atonement:

"From beyond thrice-nine hundred lands, from beyond the dead kingdom, the deceased realm. There stands a dead city, and none rejoice in that kingdom. A man walked there, stumbled, and overturned in his coffin. No angels heard him; my eyes never saw him; my hands never lifted him. I would never have heard him, never have seen him, never have laid him out, never have gathered to live with him. My Angel is with me, and with the dead is eternal rest. Amen. Amen. Amen."

Before the funeral service over the departed begins, cross the thumb and forefinger of both hands and say: "My soul, be still, fear nothing: it is not I who am sung over, buried, and remembered in church. The cross is with me, the icon before me, my guardian Angel behind me. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen. And whoever thinks evil, whoever wishes it upon me — let them stumble over my word and lose their strength. Key. Lock. Tongue. Amen. Amen. Amen."

Pregnant women must not wash the departed or walk behind the coffin; if possible, such a woman should stay at home, at least until the departed have been sung over. Better still, not to go to the cemetery at all.

Give the deceased nothing of the living for the last journey — no photographs of yourself or your loved ones (or they will fall ill), no belongings of yours, no baptismal crosses, combs, or anything belonging to the living, nor other household things. Lay no gold jewellery of theirs in the coffin — no rings, pendants, gold ingots, or other valuables, as it were "for remembrance"!

* If the departed were sung over and buried in a living person's clothes; * If you gave your handkerchief, soaked with your funeral tears, to a stranger.

Wait for the new moon, stand facing the moon with your back to your house, and read this incantation:

"Bright moon, newly born, setting out upon a far, far road. Thou walkest high, thou seest far. Reach the graveyard and look down from on high; find there the grave of God's servant (name). Tell her: let her not call God's servant (name), nor await her before her time in her dead kingdom. The Lord will keep her; the Mother of God will shield her and guard her from meeting God's servant (name). A key to my words, a lock to my deeds. Word. Deed. Truly."

Without your knowledge, let no one lay anything in the coffin or cover it with anything extra, if it is closed for some reason. All of it may be used to cast a curse.

Give no one the cord that bound the feet and hands; watch the water in which the departed were washed — a most powerful curse can be cast with that water.

Never carry anything away from a cemetery, lest you fall ill; never help yourself at the memorial feast, and least of all at the cemetery, to vodka, food, waffle towels, or kerchiefs (except the towels, kerchiefs, and sweets tied upon you or given to you). If it happened and you took something yourself, you must carry the towel, or whatever you took, back to the cemetery, and then read a special incantation:

"In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. I step with my left foot onto the bridge; from it I descend to the old graveyard; in that old graveyard lie old graves; in those old graves the dead sleep — they speak not among themselves, call no guests, welcome none; they never rise, never greet, await no one. And as these dead lie in eternal sleep, stirring neither foot nor beckoning hand, so may they never call God's servant (name), never greet them, and may the dead angels never speak their name. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. To the dead — to lie in coffins; and to God's servant (name) — a long life in health. Amen. Amen. Amen."

The water in which the departed were washed must be poured out where no people walk.

In villages, the bed on which a person died was not burned but carried out to the henhouse for 3 days, so that "the cock sings it over thrice".

There are witches who may ask to lie on the dead person's bed to cure back pain. Better to refuse — they may do harm by it.

Some witches may walk behind the coffin backwards — see to it this does not happen. Others may tie knots during the carrying-out, casting curses thereby. Those cords or rags must be taken away.

At a funeral you may make yourself a charm against curses. Think to yourself in silence: "Mother Earth, tear my enemies' nails; no curse can take me, God's servant (name). Key. Lock. Tongue. Amen. Amen. Amen."

Never cross the path of the departed: folk belief holds that tumours will grow upon the body.

At the farewell, never step upon the cloth laid beside the coffin, lest you draw a curse upon yourself.

During a cemetery funeral, never look back if you are called by name. The towels and cords on which the coffin is lowered into the grave must never be wound about your hand.

Living flowers are sometimes thrown behind the coffin for people to step on — forbid it. There are those who cast curses so.

If something falls from your hands at the cemetery, it must not be picked up — it is held to belong to the dead already. But if someone has picked it up, this incantation must be read:

"In the damp earth lie wooden boards. No living soul may lie upon those boards — stretching legs, closing eyes, folding hands upon the breast. O dead one! Thine is thy palace, thy wooden boards; thine to stretch thy legs, to close thy dead eyes, to fold thy cold hands upon thy breast. Thine, not mine: now, for ever, without end. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

If people realise that an icon was left in the coffin and buried, three new and different icons must be brought into the house. Coming to the cemetery on the fortieth day, ask forgiveness of the icon that was buried with the departed. In such cases, ask the Mother of God for forgiveness and repent for seven days running. If you can, give money for an icon to the church.

After the cemetery, you must wash your hands without fail. At the memorial feast, never drink from the glass set aside for the deceased — even if someone offers it to you. Otherwise you may fall ill for a long time.

If, planting flowers or digging on the grave, you uncover strange objects, carry them off the cemetery grounds and burn them, taking care to stay out of the smoke.

If you know that an acquaintance is coming to visit you straight from a funeral, do not let them into the house. And after a funeral, do not call on your own kin and loved ones either.

If you are afraid to go to sleep after a funeral, heat the stove well, peer into the ash-pit, and say three times: "As this stove fears neither fire, nor heat, nor smoke, so I, God's servant (name), shall not fear the dead. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen."

If you see a funeral procession, men must bare their heads, and all must quietly cross themselves. This is done not only out of respect, but for your own health.

Never watch a funeral procession peeping through a crack in the fence, from a window, or from a gate. Step out into the street if you wish to look!

If you weep bitterly for the departed, call to them and grieve after them, you may summon them to yourself, and they will come to you — and your health may fail, your fortunes darken, your life shorten. Read this incantation, that the departed may not come to you, 40 times, setting three mirrors so that the front door is reflected in one and the other two stand to the sides, with 40 candles set and lit between the mirrors and the door: "Remember, O Lord, Thy servant (name), that their soul may not walk, nor frighten us, nor rise from their coffin before Thy coming. Not nine, not eight, not seven, not six, not five, not four, not three, not two, not one. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen."

If the departed's blood kin forgot and threw no money into the grave.

If cemetery mud was carried home on shoes after the funeral.

If the dead were buried in a living person's clothes.

If the coffin was moved elsewhere for the night.

If such mistakes were made during the funeral, there is a universal remedy: submit "For Health" prayer notes in three churches, for each member of your family separately, and the eldest or the youngest in the family must read a special incantation forty times in succession before the icon of the Saviour. The middle one in the family must on no account read the words. Read thus:

"In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. I bow to Thee, O Lord. I bow to thee, Mother Moist Earth. I bow to thee, holy water. I bow to Palm Sunday and to the Saturday remembrance of the dead. I bow to Parents' Tuesday and pray for the repose of God's servant (your grandmother's name). May she lie in her place, never rising, never coming to us, never calling us to herself. May my words be firm and stick fast.

I seal you, my words, with crosses, with prayerful fingers, with bows to the earth. O departed one (name), God's servant, come not to us, and call us not to thyself. Amen. Amen. Amen."

Then go to the deceased's grave, lay a round loaf of bread upon it, and say: Here is bread for thee — "and do thou, God's servant (name), call us not to thyself for it. Word. Deed. Truly."

If earth was poured inside your collar during the funeral, or thrown in your face, go to the cemetery, stand at the foot of the grave, fold your hands upon your breast — palm to palm, as in prayer — and read this incantation; it serves equally if you carried grave-earth home without a special spell. The earth is carried back to the grave. And atone thus:

"Lord Almighty, King of earth and water, of the teeming stars and the moon, of morning and evening dawns, of the red sun and the bright sky: help me, O Lord, Thy servant (name). Turn the remembrance away — not for me, but for the departed, Thy servant (the departed's name). Let, O Lord, the memorial words pass through the earth; and as water sinks into the earth, and as water sinks into sand,

so may they reach Thy departed servant (name). Amen."

Walk away without looking back, and at home eat a pancake and a little kutia.

If someone has mistakenly drunk "dead water" — it happens, for instance, that in hot weather people lay well-chilled bottles of water in the coffin, then carelessly leave them lying about the house, and someone drinks in ignorance. To atone such a person from certain doom, have them lie upon the ground, wrap them in the hide of a freshly slaughtered cow, and step over them crosswise in succession, saying:

"As this cow shall never live nor rise again, so God's servant (name) shall not die of the dead water. Amen."

Then burn the cowhide, steam the sufferer in the bathhouse, and wash them in three waters. After this rite the patient will sleep a whole day and night, and waking, find no trace of the ailment left.

There is an omen: a mistake in the death certificate means another death will follow. To atone yourself from the departed, buy a piece of meat and read the spell-words over it. Then carry the piece where rats gather (a cellar, for instance). The spell is this:

"In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. From red blood, go forth upon blood. Go! Instead of me, God's servant (name), find a victim. Whoever eats this piece of meat shall go into the earth in my stead. And for thee, God's servant (grandmother's name), O dead one — an end to all thy walkings to me. Now, for ever, without end. Blessed be my deeds, and established be my words. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

It suffices to read the prayer once a year.

Never quarrel in a cemetery. Whoever is cursed in a cemetery is doomed. To shake off the curse, spend a night in an abandoned hut, lying by the wall with no window. First read the incantation:

"Mother, forsaken hut: thou hast no masters, but thou hast four corners. On those corners stands a wall without a single window. As there is no window in the wall, so may there be no curse upon me. Amen. Amen. Amen."

If the departed "visit" and trouble you, go to their grave and move a handful of earth from the foot to the head. Then take a handful of earth from the head of the grave and move it to the foot. Then eat kutia and a pancake and read this incantation:

"O Lord, remember with kutia the one who lies in this earth. And may this earth guard them. May the coffin lid never open, nor hands and feet rise. May they never walk to my house, nor dead lips call me to themselves. May they never come to us, never frighten us, but lie in their grave for ages upon ages: now, for ever, without end. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

If a cemetery stands near your house, or you keep seeing the dead brought for funeral services, you must set a guard upon your house against the wandering soul. First, hang a crucifix above the front door. Read the guarding incantation walking backwards in a circle through the rooms, crossing the windows and doors with your fingers. The words are these:

"Save, O Lord, my soul, and shelter me from the soul that wanders by night, unlaid, risen before its time from its swaddling, having no place of rest — whom neither the earth's cover, nor the cross at its feet, nor the icon at its head, nor the nails in the coffin lid can hold, but only Thy forbidding word shall be law to it. I trust in Thee, O Lord, as in a holy and unshakable fortress. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

P.S. When I began this article, I had written a good deal and then thought: it is turning into a gloomy piece — and stopped continuing it. Distracting myself with trifles, anything but the article, I suddenly found that every clock in the house had stopped one after another, and then my computer broke down and went in for repair. And on the eve of the day I was to fetch the computer from the repair shop, I dreamed a dream: a woman with a child asking for my help, weeping as she told her trouble. A kinswoman of hers had lately died and visits her dreams without end, troubling her sleep. She does not know — perhaps something was done wrongly at the funeral. The soul of her late aunt gives her no peace because of it. And I tell her: we shall summon her spirit now, and she herself will tell us what was wrong. I waved my hand and marvelled. By the mirror-polished furniture the spirit of their dead kinswoman appeared at once. But instead of answering my questions, the spirit seized me by the left hand and with the other pointed at my computer, where this half-written article lay. And she was very angry with me. I crossed her with my right hand, and the spirit vanished as if dissolved in air. Waking, I understood the article must be finished. I hope it proves useful.